When any year ends, it’s a period filled with a level of excitement in us that only seems to crop up at this time of year.
Excitement for a brand new chapter and a clean slate.
12 new months ahead, harbouring strong intentions to make the remainder of (or new) season better than ever with new development goals and new promotion or key fixture targets to hit. But what is fuelling this excitement?
Was 2022 better for you as a referee than you imagined? Great!
Or, was 2022 an “I don’t want to talk about it” type of year for your officiating, that you’re glad to see the back of?
If your 2023 intentions are fuelled by a negative outlook on your refereeing over the last 12 months or, the last decade, then your potential to make meaningful progress in 2023 is over before it has begun.
“We think too much and feel too little“ – Charlie Chaplin.
When we think too much about what could lie ahead, we forget to absorb those good and bad moments that made us the officials we are today. These are opportunities and lessons we can reflect on, so we know what to do or, what not to do, out in the middle to achieve success going forward.
Every experience, every moment we face as referees is a lesson, and a lesson will keep presenting itself to you until you commit and finally take a stab at it.
So, take some time now to ponder the year that was…
You can rely on social media for an algorithmic yearly wrap of everything you were game enough to commit to cyber history. And while all of this is terribly nostalgic, was 2022 really the year you thought it would be?
Whether you experienced successes beyond your wildest dreams, such as a Cup Final appointment or became a stronger person for the hardships you endured, such as a demotion.
Reflect, Plan, Make Way For Improvements
Reflecting on what you took from 2022 is the best way you can prepare to make this year coming even better.
Whether you are planning on taking what was a brilliant year to the next level or turning the tide on a tough 12 months with whistle or flag in hand…
To help you reflect on your year that was, I have put together some questions, activities, and resources to help you face up to the mirror of 2022.
You will notice that a lot of these exercises revolve around the written word, but for good reason, committing these valuable reflections to paper make them easier to revisit your memories, achievements, and regrets in future. Even if you never look at them again, studies have shown that recording these things helps to drill them into your psyche.
Tending The Garden Of Refereeing
Take some time on your own to contemplate your refereeing career with a blank piece of paper or file and make a list with three headings.
- Flowers (what did you love)
- Weeds (what would you leave out)
- Fertiliser (what could you add or improve)
This exercise is best for those who are new to the art of reflection.
Ask Yourself The Following Questions
- How did I grow as a match official throughout 2022?
- What was the single biggest refereeing challenge I overcame?
- Who needs to be acknowledged in officiating career? Is there anyone I should express gratitude to for what they have done for me or helped me with over the past 12 months.
- What were my most memorable, stand-out moments?
- Pick three words a refereeing colleague would use to describe me this year?
- What was the best thing I learned?
- What was I most grateful for?
- What was the biggest waste of my time this year?
- Name the year. 2022 the year of…
This exercise is best for those who need a little guidance in their reflection.
Write A Meaningful Letter
Throughout our officiating careers we all have moments where we really crave the advice of another human but, for various reasons, we decide not to ask (fear of sounding stupid, acceptance that we are the masters of our own destiny and only we can make the decision, trepidation that it might not be the answer we truly desire).
Why not take the opportunity to share a little of the worldliness you have acquired over the past 12 months. Sit down and write a letter to someone who might benefit from your insights (a newly qualified referee or an official who has just been promoted to your level), either now or in the future.
You might include;
- Some advice from the lessons you learned out on the field of play.
- How you have found success or happiness in officiating.
- The little technical elements they might be likely to overlook or take for granted.
This exercise is best for those who would like to pass on some of the lessons they feel were important in their year. Perhaps someone who feels they would benefit from such a letter themselves occasionally.
If you aren’t sure who you would write to, you might like to write to your future self. Record some memories, important experiences in a particular game/at a particular ground, what you learned, hopes and fears from the last 12 months and put it away for another day to read over.
Let Go. Not Every Year Is A Good One
Things go wrong, loved ones fall ill, friends part company, we fall into proverbial holes.
This might sound very negative after all the exercises that have come before but recognising what isn’t working for you as a person, as well as a match official, is very positive.
What habits or routines are you holding onto from the past 12 months that are no longer serving you well out in the middle?
What, in your refereeing career, doesn’t work? What is causing you pain? What is making you angry?
Recognise these things and consider what holding on to them brings you. None of the things that grate us have a positive impact on our marks and holding onto them definitely doesn’t have a positive effect on the officiating team come matchday.
Letting go is vital to create space for new experiences, shed excess baggage.
It is time to release the things that bother you…
- Write all the things you want to let go of from your refereeing style on a piece of paper. Being too quick on the whistle, letting that team get to you, getting in the way of play…
- Accept that some of these things bother you but that you can’t change all of them.
- Practice compassion. Understand that behind everything that frustrates you is a player or club official who has a perspective on the game.
- From now on, be aware of the present moment and enjoy it.
The exercise is best for people who find themselves focusing all their energy outward. You are tired, you are irritable, you need to release.
Once you’ve taken a moment to sit and reflect, the door to 2022 can be closed.
At The Third Team I work individually and in collaboration with different professionals where I have developed workshops and 1-2-1 sessions associated with Resilience and Mental Toughness Development to help referees. The workshops and 1-2-1 sessions are interactive, where referees are encouraged to open up and share their experiences to help themselves and each other.
Feel free to contact me if you’d like to know more about my workshops or 1-2-1 sessions and how I could help you or your officials.
Best Wishes,
Nathan Sherratt
Referee Educator & Managing Director of The Third Team
Nathan Sherratt
Nathan Sherratt, Referee Educator, Resilience Trainer and Managing Director of The Third Team. A Mental Toughness Practitioner based in County Durham, North East England.